#474 - 2014-03-29

Did you know they don't call it mental arithmetic any more? They call it personality disorder algebra. - Jeremy Hardy

#291 - 2012-10-22

On the neil Richter Scale, this is about normal.

#285 - 2012-10-16

Manager: I know I'm not the best. Manager: I'm as good as I can be bothered to be.

#606 - 2015-06-20

Ooh! New hotel beds! ... Fetch the lube!

#619 - 2015-07-23

Magazine article: Like most men I love a sandwich. I like the immediacy and functionality of food shaped to post into the mouth.

#639 - 2015-10-13

A bit later on... A untitled meeting invite arrives requiring the entire team in a meeting room without explanation.

Stu: That's an ominous meeting Neil: Very ominous Cari: How bad could it be, right? Neil: Maybe we've sparked a raptor-readiness planning meeting? Stu: Step 1: Don't look like a leaf-eater

#585 - 2015-03-27

cmilsted: yeah - I am as confused as a chameleon in a bag of skittles

#198 - 2012-03-02

If companies used our software they wouldn't have to worry about cutting jobs, they would just have a higher than average suicide rate.

#218 - 2012-04-23

Chicken omelette, isn't that the most brutal thing ever? Killing and cooking a chicken, but cooking it in it's own babies?!

#131 - 2010-06-29

mneimne: hello guys i have a question why is java considered a pure oopl whereas c++ is not ?? cheeser: java isn't pure OOP, either. cheeser: so that's easy waz: ~next javabot: Another satisfied customer. Next!

#626 - 2015-08-26

James: Andy has a meeting action to buy ice cream for me if this all goes well... Andy: I am suspicious of the ice cream thing. Andy: Is it Gold leaf and myrrh flavour you require, delicately kneaded by the paws of specially trained hamsters? Andy: Or would a cornetto do?

#287 - 2012-10-16

Perception is not truth

#120 - 2010-06-16

Matite: if it wasnt for that thread she would of gotten away with it Matite: she did it when we were all asleep Matite: :X Woet: 'she' is the key word here Woet: WOMAN SHOULD BE RESTRICTED TO THE KITCHEN AND NOT BE PLAYING SA-MP Matite: actually drunk is the key word Woet: now make me a sandwich zazaza Matite: she doesnt speak since we gagged her and tied her in the corner Matite: idk why Woet: oh Woet: nice

#206 - 2012-03-18

techfreak: I'm approaching Fat Bastard weight xcon: Welcome to my world techfreak: You had a world James but you ate it.

#25 - 2009-06-27

* neil contemplates buying a heatsink & fan for himself neil: I'm clearly not that well designed to be passively cooled ozzie: awwwww