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#350

Employee: I had a big hill to climb when I joined the team.
Manager: I joined the team after you, I just did things slightly differently.
Manager: I got half way up the hill and called in an air strike to remove the parts of the hill I didn't like the look of.

#106

<&Propugnator> Be nice to the geeks and nerds.
<&Propugnator> They'll be your boss one day.
<&zazaza> IM A NERD gonna be my own boss
<&zazaza> of nothingness.
<&Nitro> "Be nice to the geeks and nerds - They'll be tieing you down in someones basement one day."
<&Propugnator> I do it in the Attic

#232

I don't have a compatibility mode for morons.

#596

James: I always think talking to me must be like talking to a plank of wood most of the time!
Jamie: Your probably less interesting that actual talking wood.

#307

Somebody: Well, tally-ho chaps. I'm catching a train to London, where I'm going to spend the evening drinking a ridiculous amount of cocktails and acting like a complete cunt.

#71

Bert: omg ahahaha http://www.casesbypelican.com/1690-30-lcdmonitor.htm
Bert: its like a nuke proof monitor SHED
Bert: seriously it has a handle and wheels!
Bert: ITS A DUSTBIN FOR MONITORS o/
Bert: lol

#427

uther: Oh wow, I feel so much better now
uther: Just had that bowel movement, it was great
uther: Brewing for hours, I was just waiting for the perfect time
uther: It came out like chocolate Ready Break hitting a fan heater

#624

Jamie: Do you know how to get that warm fuzzy feeling inside?
James: hmm?
Jamie: Eat a hamster.

#520

anon: how about I set you on fire for the good of humanity?

#422

andrea: I really wish the world was flat...
james: ...err?
andrea: Think about it, we would not have timezones!
james: Oh, I'm totally with you on that, timezones suck.
andrea: and, if the world was flat, you could push people off the edge! :)