This site is also accessible from http://www.tydus.net/quotes.

#143
// from evesigs, an old PHP project;

/**
 * If you change values in the  following array, a velocoraptor WILL jump out 
 * from behind you and WILL EAT YOU.
 * 
 * It could trash the whole permissions system. Making people like Gooseman an 
 * admin. 
 * 
 * That should never happen. 
 */
#344

Manager A: Getting information from <Manager B> is like trying to understand a signal which is using phase shift keying although it's being passed through a polarisation filter.

#351

Manager: (in a joking tone) I will beat you if you do that again.
Individual: You say that as if it's a bad thing.
Manager: (looking horrified) Oh wow. That's over sharing and a half.
Individual: It made you not want to hit me though didn't it.
Manager: Not really, and this just became very not-safe-for-work.

#426

rui: Yeah, sometimes I just talk and talk and don't' realize I'm doing it.
james: Oh really? I hadn't noticed...
michelle: Wait, let me pull my surprised face!

#615

Bryn: oh... Non-linear cock wombles.

#268

He looks like he got dressed in a charity shop in the 80s!

#194
// Code last touched in 2004... 

	/**
	 * Lets indent lots, just because we can.
	 */
	public void parseBotsFile() {
		final File botsFile = new File("bots.xml");
		final SAXBuilder sb = new SAXBuilder();

		try {
			final Document doc = sb.build(botsFile);

			botParser: for (final Object o : doc.getRootElement().getChildren()) {
				String botName = "?";
				Server server = null;

				if (o instanceof Element) {
					final Element el = (Element) o;

					if (el.getName().equals("bot")) {
						if (el.getAttributeValue("name") != null) {
							botName = el.getAttributeValue("name");
						} else {
							System.out.println("Name unknown for bot");
							continue botParser;
						}

						if (el.getAttributeValue("server") != null) {
							try {
								server = this.loopupServer(el.getAttributeValue("server"));
							} catch (final Server.NotFoundException e) {
								System.out.println("Cannot find server " + botName);
								continue;
							}
						} else {	
							System.out.println("Server not specified for bot: " + botName);
							continue;
						}

						final Vector channels = new Vector();
						for (final Object o2 : el.getChildren()) {
							if (o instanceof Element) {
								final Element el2 = (Element) o2;

								if (el2.getName().equals("channel")) {
									if (el2.getAttributeValue("name") != null) {
										final String channelName = el2.getAttributeValue("name");

										System.out.println("Adding channels to list: " + channelName);
										channels.add(channelName);
									}
								} else {
									Util.messageWarning("Unknown element while looking for channels: " + el2.getName());
								}
							} else {
								System.out.println("Unknown object while looking for channels.");
							}
						}

						Bot bot = new Bot(botName, server, channels, this);
						this.botList.add(bot);
						channels.clear();
					} else {
						System.out.println("Unhandled element");
					}
				} else {
					continue;
				}
			}
		} catch (final FileNotFoundException e) {
			System.out.println("Could not find bots.xml");
		} catch (final Exception e) {
			System.out.println("Error while looking for bots: " + e);
		}
	}

#503

** The anteater says to Noah: what the fuck, you only bought two ants?!

#328

jread: tbh. I wonder if you could walk onto a plane with the chemicals necessary to make termite. It probably would not be so wise to try, but might make a good experiment.
danpb: jread: termites on a plane ! but i guess you meant thermite :-)
jread: rofl, epic typo.
twillber: snakes!
jread: termites, almost as corrosive as THermite.
jread: Almost.

#516

cmilsted: Two Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving nearly-raw juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon.
cmilsted: "Hey, Pepe" says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!"
cmilsted: So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets.
cmilsted: His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepe.
cmilsted: "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
cmilsted: With his last breath Pepe calls out:
cmilsted: "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a bacon tree... ... ees a ham bush!"