This site is also accessible from


anon: I don't know what's more worrying - that the women's bathroom smells like tinned meatballs...
anon: ...or that that's making me hungry


Daniel Messer: he uses      python like all grown-ups
Daniel Messer: oh sorry, syntax error because of wrong amount of tab intends


James: Literally every time I setup a firewall rule with Masquerade rules, I sing in my head "Masqueradeeee, laa la laaa laa la la laaa laaa"


Pat: James, if you don't take advantage of your position at the top of the food chain, you're gonna lose it!


Pat: hello, what Operating systems does your software support?
Jane: Its written in Unicode.


James: That reminds me to buy you a fake taranchela and put it in your big green bag, lol ;)
Evie: ...
James: You'll not know when, but one day when you put your hand in there....
Evie: Do it and I'll use your red hat as a bidet


James: I've got the house, it's all confirmed, March 11th!
Andrea: Congratulations!
Andrea: Welcome to the club; years of servitude to the banks! But now you can paint the walls in bright purple if you like :D


* from bed on the weekend

Evie: What time is it?
James: It's 10:00 in the morning!
Evie: That's practically the middle of the night! Why are you punishing me?!


Colleague: This isn't blackmail. It's credit control. There is a difference.


Evie: My idea of romance is you putting the toilet seat down!


I wish you a wonderful new year filled with abundance, joy, and treasured moments.


Maybe you could be even more subtle, invite them to a meeting in Twatt....,_Shetland


Evie: Don't make me try and figure out google excel D:
Evie: I haven't even figured out excel-excel


Steve: Do you know how to check cookies?
Mark: *sends a picture of choc chip cookies*
Mark: They seem okay
Steve: Send them over for inspection
Mark: not sure what protocol to encapsulate them in
Steve: Jiffybag over Royal Mail
Steve: Predigestion, of course
Mark: damnit


Tom: I love coming into the office in the morning!
Tom: It's the 8 hour wait before I can go home again that pisses me off!


Subject: testmail1
202 5.5.2 Error: command not recognized
202 5.5.2 Error: command not recognized
202 5.5.2 Error: command not recognized
221 2.7.0 Error: I can break rules, too. Goodbye.
Connection closed by foreign host.


Patrick: I've just been asked to upload a .war file
Patrick: .war?! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. I'll say it again.


James: Ahh I love Portsmouth... but I couldn't live here again
Evie: A bit like your mother I guess...
Evie: Good for visits, but you wouldn't want to be in her again


James: What would you say about a picnic snuggles in the back of the Land Rover with a KFC tonight before the cinema? :D No resteraunts, loud noises, bright lights and crap service, just snuggles and junk food? :)
Evie: Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesfuuuuuuckyeeeeeees
Evie: You had me at snuggles, I lost my panties at KFC :p


Byron: AOE2 [Age of Empires 2] ruled!
James: It still does wink emoticon An expansion came out for it last week.
Ken: Seriously? They still support AOE2??
James: Yeah dude, it was a full expansion too, they added like 3 new races and loads of fixes!
Byron: But still no ISIS?


James: Yeah, and you could enter into a conversation like this;
James: SYN!
James: (now you say, SYNACK!)
Patrick: SYNACK
James: ACK!
Patrick: You're a super nerd, right?
Patrick: You must have some outrageous parties
Patrick: Do you just leave the UDP guy knocking at the door? :D


Andy: People's problems are relative of course, but it helps to have perspective. And sometimes you just want to write that perspective on the palm of your hand and deliver the message at speed.


E: what's more gross than ordering a bloody mary?
E: ordering a bloody mary and putting a tampon in it before serving it to a friend


Robin: Why don't babies have log files? How are you supposed to know what the error is?!


Emma: Eating turkey in the form that isn't a dinosaur, I'm a real adult now.